Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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