is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
