guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
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