If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize