If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
