I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize