Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
