Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
