we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
