it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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