Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
