I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize