I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
