Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
