WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
