I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
