i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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