Plan B is the new Plan A
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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