if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
