he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
