I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize