Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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