Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
