make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize