u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize