it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
