a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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