I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
