I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Congratulations! We have a period
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize