So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
