At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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