what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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