I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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