Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
