I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
