it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
