i think my mom watched the whole time
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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