PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
