lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
