Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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