shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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