every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
