He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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