WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Bring me that man meat
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
