who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
