You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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