Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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