all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
