I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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