Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
