these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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