she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
