Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
