The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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