If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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